Quiz Show Tosser

Years have passed since the short lived, well received Sorrrsigeblog (just pretend you know what I'm talking about) graced your shiny Mac screens, before disappearing into cyberspace before even trending on Twitter.  A series of unfortunate events over the past few weeks have made me reassess the situation; I lost my job recently, I deleted my Facebook account and then developed a deep hatred for CJ from The Eggheads.  'Bitter This, Bitter That' is my new release, in more ways than one.

I'm not going to bore you all and talk about the job situation at all, but fuck me I'm mad.  Our relocation to Gateshead has enforced a fortnightly pilgrimage on a Tuesday afternoon up to the High Street, where I am forced to mingle with the living dead in order to 'sign on'.  It's times like these that I can actually hold my head up high and proclaim myself to be the sexiest man in Gateshead, no question.  Stood at the top of Jackson Street, I overheard one mutant grunt to the other, 'aarrr narrr mate, divvunt gaan doon there man...thus arrrnly posh shops like Peacocks und Bon Marksies'.  The place is full of snobby idiots like him, and I'm not going to stand for it.

Anyway, the worthless Nigel in the job centre is determined to push me into some hideous call centre located somewhere like Holy fucking Island on six pound bot all an hour, and all he's done is whinge about my lack of flexibility since I've walked through the door.  I haven't came here to play crab football, you complete dick, now find me something suitable pronto, before I staple your fingers to your bastard eyeballs.  I'm different to the Gateshead thoroughbreads that normally stagger through the doors there and he just can't seem to realise that because he's too busy flirting with four tits Anne, sitting on the next table.  She's probably equally as shit, so no doubt in two weeks time I will be sat opposite her whilst she tells me I should apply to McDonalds in Skegness.  I'd say the only 'Marketing' role they've ever heard of in there is working for a fruit and veg stall, so I'll be in there a few more times yet if they've anything to do with it.

Moving on, and to be fair to CJ from The Eggheads, it's a little harsh to single him out considering I dislike most things and people.  He just happened to be there during one of my increasingly frequent daytime TV viewings and my immediate thoughts were to shout 'prick' at the screen as loud as I could.  Eggheads is a quiz show, where a team consisting of the general public go up against 'the greatest quiz team in the world', which consists of former winners of equally unwatchable tripe like Countdown and Mastermind.  As TV personalities go, I would put him on a level with Gordon the Gopher, though Gordon probably has better crack even without Philip Schofield's arm lubed up his cacky winker.  CJ, or Cock Jockey to his mates, looks like he bathes in the deep fat fryer and is an arsehole in the purest sense of the word.  I challenge anyone in the world to even consider liking him for one second of their lives, but they will probably break down and cry like I did when the bastard won AGAIN.  AAARRRGGGGHHH!

PS listen to this, it's wicked

P.T.

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